My heart is heavy and I feel like I’m drowning in my tears. Nights last to long and my days are to short.

This is to hard for me……..

Over the last week, I’ve experienced some lows and one super high. My heart was broken by a man who lied, lied for whatever reason, he just lied and it hurt like hell. I was trying to give the pain to God while also trying to be strong, strong for others because they needed me to be. Shortly after that incident, I lost my god-daddy and I became numb. It’s easy to deal with pain because it hurts but how to you snap out of being numb? Just plain numb.

I know how to pray and encourage myself but this time is different. I feel as if the harder I pray; the heavier I feel. I hate this feeling. I hate not being me. I want to scream but I can’t. I want to cry but my tears have dried up.

What in the world do I do, to escape the madness?

………… I curl up in the lap of God in my comfy chair. My chair has become a place of peace and security over the past couple of weeks. Through the pain and numbness I can feel Gods love. I know this too shall pass, I just need to trust Him fully.

Folks say a prayer for me because I need it. Say a prayer for yourself because you need it. I am coming out of the dark……. It just may take longer than I think.

Much love,

Beautiful Black Cat

Please support my podcast Single Paren-TING



I absolutely love putting it in writing! When I write I release a part of me that was hidden from the world. For years I would only write to help me navigate through this thing called life, however, writing has become my closest friend. I am a self-published author with a desire to help people know there is always HOPE. Hope for a better tomorrow, hope to live another day, and HOPE TO KNOW LIFE DOES GET BETTER. To my readers, I say "Live FREE and Die WELL" (Quote from the Rock in the movie Scorpion King~lol). Hope is always found in letting go.

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