My heart is heavy and I feel like I’m drowning in my tears. Nights last to long and my days are to short.
This is to hard for me……..
Over the last week, I’ve experienced some lows and one super high. My heart was broken by a man who lied, lied for whatever reason, he just lied and it hurt like hell. I was trying to give the pain to God while also trying to be strong, strong for others because they needed me to be. Shortly after that incident, I lost my god-daddy and I became numb. It’s easy to deal with pain because it hurts but how to you snap out of being numb? Just plain numb.
I know how to pray and encourage myself but this time is different. I feel as if the harder I pray; the heavier I feel. I hate this feeling. I hate not being me. I want to scream but I can’t. I want to cry but my tears have dried up.
What in the world do I do, to escape the madness?
………… I curl up in the lap of God in my comfy chair. My chair has become a place of peace and security over the past couple of weeks. Through the pain and numbness I can feel Gods love. I know this too shall pass, I just need to trust Him fully.
Folks say a prayer for me because I need it. Say a prayer for yourself because you need it. I am coming out of the dark……. It just may take longer than I think.
Beautiful Black Cat
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