KILLING MY WHY

I have been on a journey of “me” lately, which consists of facing some things in my life that scare me to death. I am moving into a new place emotionally and began to question why I was acting like I was.

I questioned myself. It really isn’t bad if you are growing but I wasn’t.

I questioned my motives, I questioned my life in such a way it literally brought me to tears. Then something jumped inside of me that made me remember how I was years ago. I was fearless, I was loving, I was influential amongst my peers, then something happen. People who I loved began to question the intensity of my life. Everything I did, I did with such a passion, people thought I was a lil off. They question why I was always so positive. They questioned why I gave so much. They questioned my friendships with people who were not like me. I realized that I had allowed others questions about MY LIFE make me begin to question myself. I began to lose faith in who I was slowly and systematically. For years I stopped being who I was creates to be because the fear to be me had taken root in my inner being.

I must tell you today I cried and I prayed. I cried because 30 plus years had been stolen from me. I cried because I realized I had been living trapped by another persons words. I cried because I was pissed off and I don’t have any more time to waste.

I am killing the “why” in my life by saying, why not. I chose to never again limit myself because others don’t “get it”. I know I will offend people who chose to stay where they are at. So what! I know the road ahead won’t be easy but trust me it will be worth it. All in all I’m killing my “why” today so I can let the love of God flow through me without restraint.

Why are you still where you’re at? Is it time for you to kill whatever is holding the true you down?

I say let’s KILL IT!!

Much love,

Beautiful Black Cat

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