Well, well, well, to be honest, I’m like “really chicka”. Before I pour my heart out on paper here is my disclaimer…. FOR SINGLE WOMEN ONLY”, men feel free to share with your single female friends. Lol.

Recently, I went through a bit of a difficult emotional time with a man that I was beginning to really like. We met, we went out, we texted and so on. Well, this friendship seemed to be going in the way of forming a relationship then BAM!! It hit me like a tone of bricks, the friendship was just a friendship. OUCH! I spent a couple of days frustrated, low key depressed, and just plain distraught. The crazy part was the man didn’t do anything different, he just didn’t do what I expected in a blossoming relationship that wasn’t forming fast enough for me. I’ve been single for over 20yrs at the time of this post and it hasn’t been all bad. However, this scenario has happened to many times for me to admit(I have to keep some things to myself~lol). So I did what any grown-up would do, I took a hard look at myself…. YES I BROKE DOWN AND CRIED. I was subconsciously pursuing these men and not even realizing it. I desired to be everything they needed and lost my focus on most occasions. I would give them a romantic ringtone, their text messages would be in my “private box” so I could read our conversations over and over again. I would always be there if they needed an ear…. Sound familiar ladies. Well, I decided to first ask God to forgive me for pursuing a man/relationship more than Him. (I am Christian and Jesus is the bomb) I needed to take a step back and change. Every friendship or relationship with a man I was dating or interested in seemed to have the same outcome….. I was the one pursuing. It’s hard to admit the truth but it feels good when you do. I made a conscious decision to be pursued by the men who are interested in getting to know me. I decided to focus more on becoming a better me(working out, getting out of debt, traveling BY MYSELF) for me and no one else. The jist is this ladies… Don’t subconsciously pursue a man, just be you and allow the man that desires you to show you he wants to be in your life. I could go on and on but I’ll leave that for the book, not the blog. Lol. Enjoy your life and know that God said the MAN that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. Work on becoming that “good” thing. He has to look to find you and you are worth looking for.

Much love,

Beautiful Black Cat

p.s. Follow me on Twitter @toi_potts


I absolutely love putting it in writing! When I write I release a part of me that was hidden from the world. For years I would only write to help me navigate through this thing called life, however, writing has become my closest friend. I am a self-published author with a desire to help people know there is always HOPE. Hope for a better tomorrow, hope to live another day, and HOPE TO KNOW LIFE DOES GET BETTER. To my readers, I say "Live FREE and Die WELL" (Quote from the Rock in the movie Scorpion King~lol). Hope is always found in letting go.

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